


Suicidal Glasses and the Halloween Goose

by giselleslash



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-09
Updated: 2011-10-09
Packaged: 2017-10-24 10:51:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/262652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giselleslash/pseuds/giselleslash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elena has to work Halloween night and Gwaine is smitten by the fact that she’s the worst bartender ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suicidal Glasses and the Halloween Goose

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote part of this as a comment fic for Tracy7307 as a welcome back/get well gift and I liked the idea of it and the fact that it sort of went along with a Gwaine/Elena prompt I left at Gwaine_Quest but couldn’t claim because I’d already claimed another prompt. I decided to take this and expand on it a bit.

Gwaine grinned as he watched the bartender drop glass number three on the night. She scowled and looked at the glass on the floor like it had somehow insulted her. She scrunched up her adorable face and blew a curl of wayward blonde hair out of her face before reaching for the broom and going to work on the mess.

"Need any help?" he asked.

She looked up from the floor and gave Gwaine a lopsided grin. "I swear, this one actually jumped out of my hand. Totally not my fault."

Gwaine nodded. "I saw it happen. The glass was clearly suicidal, there was nothing you could have done."

The bartender laughed, loudly and with a distinctive snort at the end of it that made Gwaine smile. She wasn't exactly classy or drop dead sexy with her wild hair and goofy grin but fuck if she wasn't pretty much the best thing Gwaine'd seen in a long, long time.

"Gwaine," he said as he got up from his bar stool and walked around to the other side of the bar.

"Huh?" she asked as she puffed another wayward curl out of her face.

"My name. It's Gwaine."

"Ah. Okay. Elena. That's me." She rolled her eyes and laughed at that too and Gwaine was charmed. He purposely brushed his fingers over hers as he took the broom from her.

"Here, let me."

Elena shrugged and handed over the broom willingly. "Suit yourself. I'm not going to deprive you of the joy of sweeping."

Gwaine was about to comment when a waitress came up and gave Elena a drink order. He watched as she grabbed a bottle of gin instead of vodka and continued happily mixing the wrong drink. Gwaine didn't stop her, he couldn't, watching her was too much fun. When she handed over the drinks to the waitress Gwaine subtly shook his head at her and mixed a new drink while Elena was busy pulling pints at the other end of the bar. The waitress gave him a grateful smile when he handed over the proper drink.

He spent the rest of the night behind the bar following Elena and swooping in to save more suicidal glasses and fixing botched drink orders. Elena talked his ear off the entire time about the fact it was bloody Halloween and she couldn’t bloody well believe she had to work and couldn’t be at her bloody friends’ bloody party. (Gwaine learned that Elena _really_ loved Halloween and had a costume in the back just waiting for her. Gwaine really hoped it was one of those slinky black cat numbers, or at least something that involved a grand show for her boobs, which he was starting to find were his eyes’ favorite thing at the moment.)

“I mean, who wants to work on Halloween, dammit?” Elena complained. “I love Halloween. It’s my favorite holiday aside from Christmas, New Years, and Valentine’s Day.”

Gwaine laughed at that. “So pretty much all holidays are your favorite then?”

“Not _all_. I’m not particularly fond of Boxing Day.”

“Well I’m glad you draw a line.”

Elena scrunched up her face at him (yet another thing Gwaine was finding impossibly wonderful about her) and carried on with her complaining about missing Halloween, the best day of the year aside from Christmas, New Years, and Valentine’s Day. She also went into great detail about horses, her upstairs neighbors Bernard and Betty, and a rugby game she'd been to that afternoon which normally Gwaine would've found interesting but he was too busy staring at her mouth and mixing up proper martinis to pay attention.

"I still think it's utter bollocks they won't let women in the league, don't you?" she asked him. When he didn't answer she punched him in the arm hard enough to make him drop the drink he'd been making. "Ha!" she laughed. "You've got a jumper too. Damn glasses. Depressed. The whole lot of them."

Gwaine rubbed arm (because, fuck, Elena punched _hard_ ) and laughed. He knew he should be arsed that she'd made another mess for him to clean up and was obviously completely oblivious to the fact that he'd been flirting with her all night but she was smiling at him and her entire perfect face lit up and Gwaine couldn't be the least bit frustrated.

"How on earth did you get this job?" he laughed fondly.

"Hey, _you're_ the one that dropped that glass. I had nothing to do with it. And I kind of think I should be insulted by what you're implying," she answered as she crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a look.

Gwaine said nothing, only reached out and gently brushed away a wayward curl from Elena's face.

"Oh." Elena blushed. " _Oh._ "

"Yeah. Oh."

"Well, bugger, how was I supposed to know?" she asked in frustration.

"He's been chatting you up the entire night," the waitress said as she breezed by and picked up her tray of drinks. "It's fairly obvious, Ellie."

"Is she taking the piss at me?" Elena asked as she pointed at the back of the waitress as she walked away.

"Not really, no."

"You've been chatting me up all this time? No. You haven't. Have you?"

Elena's face was scrunched up in confusion and Gwaine decided it was the perfect time to lean in and kiss her distracting, gorgeous mouth. She squeaked when Gwaine's lips met hers and he smiled against her mouth.

"I might have been." Gwaine said when he pulled away from the kiss. Elena's eyes were closed and her face upturned, lips pursed a bit from the kiss and he smiled at the sight.

Elena cracked an eye open when no more kisses were forthcoming and gave Gwaine a peek, when she saw he was smiling down at her she opened her eyes and huffed in frustration.

"Well, you might've done a better job of it. You rather mucked it up, didn't you?"

Gwaine shrugged a shoulder but kept his gaze on her. "I suppose I did. Maybe you could help me out, tell me where I went wrong."

"You could've been a bit more obvious about it."

"Oh yeah, how so?"

"I'd expect something like this ought to do the trick," Elena said as she flung herself at Gwaine and planted her lips against his with a smack. Gwaine stumbled under the onslaught but was able to get his arms around her waist and his lips settled against hers.

Well, yeah, that did the trick quite nicely actually.

Gwaine pulled away from the kiss and looked down at Elena’s upturned face. He decided in that moment that she really needed to have her Halloween.

“Are you about done here?” Gwaine asked.

Elena nodded. “I just have to settle up the till and then I’m out of here.”

“Good because I’ve got an idea.” Gwaine smiled.

“An idea?” Elena asked as she bounced a bit on her toes and grinned excitedly.

“Don’t worry about the till,” the waitress, Gloria (Gwaine had finally asked her after fixing drink order number five for her), said. “Elena always botches it up. I’ll do it, you two go on.”

“Really? You’re the best,” Elena said as she grabbed Gloria in a strangle hold and hugged her until she could manage to push Elena away.

“Go get your costume on,” Gwaine said as he pushed Elena toward the back of the pub.

“But it’s after midnight, it’s not even Halloween anymore.”

Gwaine shrugged. “It’s still Halloween somewhere.”

Elena clapped her hands. “Like in Greenland!” she said happily.

Gwaine shook his head and laughed. “Sure. Why not.”

Gwaine helped Gloria with the till while Elena changed in back. Gloria told him a couple of fantastic stories about Elena’s nonexistent bartending skills and general overall clumsiness. Rather than being put off altogether the stories only made Gwaine more enamored which earned him an approving smile from Gloria in return.

“I’m ready!” Elena shouted as she came running back to the bar.

Gwaine looked over in anticipation of a rather gloriously slutty Halloween costume only to see Elena dressed in an oversized rugby kit with her hair piled into a messy clump on the top of her head.

Elena must have picked up on Gwaine’s confused face because she looked at him expectantly as if she were waiting for the confusion to magically clear.

“You’re a rugby player?” Gwaine asked slowly.

“Duh. I’m Jonny Wilkinson, you berk.”

Gwaine just shook his head and walked over to Elena to give her a kiss. He wasn’t sure why the thought of his potential future girlfriend taking such delight in the idea of beating the shit out of people rugby-style was so damn appealing but it was.

“Come on then.” Gwaine laughed as he grabbed Elena’s hand and led her out the door.

 

~*~

 

“Are you sure this is a good idea? It’s nearly three in the morning.” Elena looked questioningly over at Gwaine as they stood in front of the door.

“It’s the best idea,” Gwaine assured her. “And Merlin will love it. Trust me.”

Gwaine was sure Merlin would love it but of course it was Arthur that answered the door once he’d knocked. And knocked again. And kept on knocking until an arsed off, half-naked Arthur answered the door. The fact that Arthur looked like he could spit fire at Gwaine didn’t deter him as much as Elena’s gasped, _’Oh.’_ and deepening blush at the sight of Arthur’s chest.

“Fuck me, Gwaine. Do you know what time it is?”

“Actually, yes. It’s 2:43.”

“And you do know that’s in the morning, not the afternoon?”

“I’m aware of it, yes.”

“Are you also aware of the fact I’m about to punch you in the face and call the police on you?”

“I was aware of the possible face punching, but not the call to the police.”

Arthur gave Gwaine a withering look. “You might as well come in and wait inside. I’ve got to find my phone anyway. I’ll punch you when I get back.” Arthur said as he shuffled off down the hall.

Elena’s eyes were the size of saucers but she followed Gwaine in when she saw he was grinning despite Arthur’s threats.

They saw a light go on in the kitchen and heard a few muffled curses from Arthur as drawers opened and closed.

“Your phone is usually surgically attached to your hand, why the hell are you looking in kitchen drawers for it?” Gwaine asked.

Arthur waved his arm in the general direction of his and Merlin’s bedroom. “That bloody bastard took it from me last night. Claimed we were to have a quiet, phone-free, traditional Halloween dinner - which I’m pretty sure he made up in the first place. There’s not a traditional Halloween dinner, is there?”

“No, you stupid git,” Gwaine said at the same time Elena said, “There should be.”

Arthur squinted at them and seemed to finally realize Gwaine wasn’t alone. “Who’re you?” he asked.

“Elena.”

“Or Jonny Wilkinson. Take your pick.” Gwaine said.

“Whatever,” Arthur mumbled and went back to looking for his phone.

“What’s going on out here?” Merlin’s scratchy voiced asked from the doorway.

Gwaine looked over his shoulder at Merlin, who was scrubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “We’re waiting for Arthur to find his phone so he can call the police on me and then punch me in the face.”

“Hm. Sounds good.” Merlin mumbled as he dragged himself over to Arthur and draped himself over his bare back. He reached down and moved Arthur’s hand out of the way and reached into the drawer to pull Arthur’s phone out himself. “Here, you idiot. It practically bit you.”

“Fucking hell. How do you always do that?” Arthur asked Merlin. Merlin just kissed him on the back of his neck, patted his back and went to put the kettle on.

“Oh, you don’t need to make tea,” Elena said. “We’re just here trick-or-treating.”

Merlin looked up. “Really?”

“Elena loves Halloween and she had to work so I figured I’d take her trick-or-treating.” Gwaine said.

“Aw, that’s so sweet,” Merlin said.

“Are you mental?” Arthur asked.

Merlin ignored Arthur and opened up a container on their counter. “Here. I’ve got loads of candy. Take some.”

“Oh, chocolate,” Elena said as she started digging around in the candy.

“Seriously, are you two mental?” Arthur asked again.

Everyone ignored him.

“Are you two dating?” Merlin asked, his eyes going back and forth between them. “Because this is grand gesture, Gwaine. I’d date you if you took me trick-or-treating.”

Elena blushed and muttered something about having just met and Gwaine winked at Merlin.

“Seriously. This is lovely,” Merlin went on. “Arthur thinks cleaning the toilet once a year is a grand gesture.”

“And you think showering more than once a week is a grand gesture, so we’re even.” Arthur pouted as he fiddled with making the tea Merlin had abandoned.

Merlin leaned over and whispered to Elena. “I did it once during exams at uni and you’d think I’d waterboarded him. I’ve suggested therapy but he won’t go.”

Elena laughed. “Did you have goose for your Halloween dinner? I’d definitely serve goose.”

“We did.” Merlin smiled happily. “Arthur thinks I’m making it all up.”

“Because you are,” Arthur said as he pulled mugs out of the cupboard. “There’s no such thing.”

“There should be,” Elena repeated at the same time Merlin said the same.

“Fucking hell, Gwaine. You’ve found a Merlin with boobs. I always knew you had a thing for him.”

“I did, and I still do. I’ll always have a thing for Merlin. He’s the one that got away.”

“Aww, so sad.” Elena frowned and patted him on the shoulder. “Do you still have Bridget Jones moments over him?”

Gwaine didn’t answer, all he did was stare at Elena as she carried on eating candy, but he noticed Merlin eyeing him with a knowing little grin on his face, and even Arthur looked over his shoulder at him, and he realized he was having a moment. A fucking moment.

Elena had simply fallen into their idiotic banter and teasing without an ounce of self-awareness and Gwaine found himself entertaining thoughts of asking her to marry him on the spot.

“At least once a month,” Gwaine finally managed to answer.

Elena hummed thoughtfully. “Sounds about right.” She looked up and grinned at Merlin. “And thanks for the chocolate.”

“No problem.” Merlin smiled back at her.

“I’m taking her to Morgana and Leon’s next,” Gwaine said.

“Good luck with that,” Arthur said.

Elena looked worried. “Is Gwaine going to get punched in the face there as well?”

“By Leon? No. By Morgana? Yes.” Arthur answered.

“Morgana’s Arthur’s sister,” Gwaine said and Elena nodded as if it all made sense.

“Don’t worry.” Merlin waved his hand at Elena. “Morgana’s a closet romantic, just like Arthur. She’ll think it’s sweet.”

“Sure, after she punches Gwaine in the face.” Arthur said and Merlin just smiled fondly at him when he didn’t even bother denying his closet romanticism.

“Well, we’re off then.” Gwaine said.

Elena gathered up her bag of candy and grabbed a few more with a goofy grin and a shrug. They were heading back down the hall to the door when she stopped and turned. “Oh, Arthur, you still need to punch Gwaine in the face.”

“Ellie.” Gwaine shoved at her shoulder.

“What?”

Arthur laughed. “Jesus Christ, marry her.”

Arthur and Merlin had followed them to the door and Merlin had hooked his arm in the crook of Arthur’s as he mouthed, _’romantic sap.’_ and pointed at Arthur.

“I’m saving that for our second date,” Gwaine said.

“Ah, Gwaine, always so sensible.” Arthur nodded.

“So no face punching?” Elena asked, a hint of disappointment in her voice that made Arthur grin maniacally at Gwaine.

“Next time. Promise.” Arthur told her. “Just a hint for you though, that’s like foreplay for him.”

Elena laughed at that and Gwaine rolled his eyes.

“Sorry for waking you.” Elena apologized to Arthur and Merlin from the doorway.

Merlin shrugged. “No worries. We’ll just have a bit of tea and a fuck, not a bad way to spend the middle of the night.”

“Jesus Christ, Merlin.” Arthur sighed.

“What did I say?”

“Really?”

Gwaine and Elena stood and laughed as Arthur shut the door and they heard the tail end of Merlin saying, “Some tea and a fuck, what’s wrong with that...?”

Elena looked over at Gwaine, her smile was blinding.

“I like them,” she said then waved her bag at him. “Plus, chocolate!”

Gwaine smiled and took her hand in his once again.

 

~*~

 

While Morgana didn’t exactly punch him in the face she did punch him in the arm, quite hard actually, but it was totally worth it to hear Elena’s loud, snorting, cackle of a laugh after the fact.

Leon had looked at them like they were a couple of gamboling kittens and had handed over everything sweet in their house while Morgana nagged at him that he was giving away her food as she snatched back a package of Jammie Dodgers.

“What? They’re my favorite,” she mumbled when Leon gave her a look.

“Just like the Doctor,” Elena said and Gwaine was pretty sure he could see the moment stars exploded in Leon’s eyes at hearing that. Morgana just smiled at Gwaine and gave him a wink.

 

…

 

At Elyan’s all Elena got was an already opened package of jelly babies tossed out the door at her because Elyan was clearly entertaining company.

“Black cat?” Gwaine asked knowingly.

Elyan nodded and Gwaine high-fived him as Elena started eating the rest of the jelly babies.

“Hey, sorry ‘bout that,” Elyan said as he pointed at the crumpled package.

Elena shrugged. “No problem. Black cats,” she said as she made a claw with her hand. “Rawr.”

Elyan laughed and closed the door.

 

…

 

They were cooed at again at Gwen and Lance’s place.

They were also sat down and fed bacon sandwiches by Lance while Gwen drilled Gwaine about his intentions towards Elena and Elena laughed and offered her jelly babies. Gwaine didn’t mind so much since he got a kiss from Gwen on the way out.

 

…

 

When Percy opened the door Gwaine laughed as Elena craned her neck back to look up at him in wide-eyed wonder.

“You haven’t a shirt on,” she said inanely.

“Nope.” Percy shrugged.

Gwaine laughed when Elena poked Percy’s right arm with her finger.

“I’m taking Elena trick-or-treating.” Gwaine told him.

Percy smiled his big, dumb, goofy Percy smile and nearly jumped up and down and clapped at the idea.

“I have pie,” he said. “I’ll wrap it up for you.”

Elena and Gwaine watched him disappear into his flat.

“Did he just say pie?” Elena asked. “In a really giddy voice?”

“Percy bakes. A lot.”

“Does he do it naked? If he does I think I’m trick-or-treating with the wrong guy, clearly that man in there is my soul mate.”

“I have biscuits and a chocolate torte too,” Percy’s voice floated back to them from his kitchen.

Elena grinned at Gwaine and headed into Percy’s flat. “Do you have a girlfriend, Percy?”

Percy happily assured her he didn’t and Gwaine had to drag Elena out of his flat while giving him the evil eye after far too much flirting over pie.

“I liked him,” Elena said once they were back outside of Percy’s building.

“I’m sure you did,” Gwaine mumbled.

Elena looked at him and his disgruntled face and laughed out loud. She took his face in her hands and kissed him until his knees went a bit wobbly.

“But I like you best,” Elena said quietly as a blush rose over her cheeks.

Gwaine smiled widely, happily, as he took her hand and tugged her closer to his side as they walked down the pavement.

“Let’s hope it stays that way.”

 

~end


End file.
